Estimated reading time: 5.5 minutes
Intro
Recently, I’ve been struggling with the idea that I’m burned out. For the past few years, it’s felt like I don’t have the same drive and energy I used to. I felt lazy and often started projects I didn’t follow through on. I felt like I was going through life on autopilot, with the same routine day after day. This caused me a lot of guilt. You see, I love my life. My family is wonderful. I have a beautiful and kind wife and a blended family of six amazing kids. My job is stable and secure. Financially, things are tough with so many people to take care of, but I don’t live in fear that the bills won’t eventually get paid.
However, the more I think about it, the more it seems burnout doesn’t fully describe how I’m feeling. I don’t feel like I need rest and recovery like I would if I were suffering from burnout. It seems to me that I require more activity. What bothers me more than anything is the projects I started and left incomplete. The problem might be boredom, not burnout.
But I hate the idea that I’m bored. I’ve always considered boredom the curse of people without active minds. Something I used to tell the kids when they complained of being bored was, “I haven’t been bored since I was 16 years old.” Whenever I felt bored, I would occupy myself with something, and the boredom would go away. I told the kids they could do the same thing. “If you feel bored, find something to do.” Struggling with the burnout-versus-boredom question led me to reflect and figure out exactly what I was feeling so I could fix it.
What Burnout Looks Like
Healthcare burnout has recently become a major contributor to nursing and physician shortages. I wasn’t sure whether I was experiencing burnout in my personal life, but as a nurse, I knew the signs and symptoms of burnout in healthcare. Although I’ve never felt burned out in my career, I’ve seen its effects on others.
When I think of burnout, I picture someone who is stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed. The person may be irritable and desire to escape their life or work. People who are burned out might feel that everything is exhausting and have little patience with others. They might isolate and want to be alone.
Burnout is caused by taking on too much at once. It’s the result of being overworked without adequate time for rest or recovery. A real-life example might be a middle-aged adult caring for young children and elderly parents simultaneously. Caring for so many people while working full-time may be more than that person can manage, leading to burnout.
What Boredom Looks Like
While burnout stems from overstimulation, boredom stems from too little. A bored individual might feel that life is underwhelming. They may ask themselves, “Is this all there is?” Their main feeling is restlessness — the desire to do more than their daily routine allows. Being stuck in a rut is a good description. The person experiencing boredom longs for something interesting to happen.
Boredom is often caused by routine. When every day seems the same, where is the excitement and adventure? I remember being a child, when each day held new opportunities and experiences. Not every day was remarkable, but there was at least some variety. As adults, we lose that. Being a productive and responsible person requires adopting a relatively predictable routine that enables you to care for a family.
After reflecting on the symptoms and causes of both boredom and burnout, I’ve concluded that I’m primarily experiencing boredom. I don’t like that, but the logic holds up. I spend much of my time imagining new projects or hobbies. I crave learning, adventure, and challenge. It bothers me to think that my life, as it is, doesn’t seem to be enough. I worry that my wife and kids would be upset if they thought they weren’t enough to make me feel fulfilled. Aside from feeling tired all the time (which may be more related to being out of shape) and having little time to myself to pursue interests, I don’t have many symptoms of burnout.
Why Middle-Aged Men Confuse the Two
So why was I confused about what was going on with me? There appears to be some overlap between the two conditions. Middle-aged men can experience both. I often told myself, “I’m tired, but I’m also restless.” This contradiction didn’t make sense to me. As I thought about it more, it became clearer. Kids and responsibilities consumed most of my spare time. I love my life, but I’ve had to set aside hobbies and things I once enjoyed. Many days looked like the day before. I was on a work, kid activities, sleep, repeat cycle.
I think many men face the same thing in middle age. It’s a mix of responsibility fatigue, a lack of growth and novelty, and a loss of connection with your younger self. We have trouble facing it because it feels selfish. At least that’s how I felt.
For years, I assumed that feeling restless, irritable, and dissatisfied meant something was wrong. But every so often, the issue isn’t exhaustion—it’s stagnation. We stop learning. We stop growing. And we stop doing the things that once made us feel alive.
The good news is that boredom isn’t a life sentence. It might be a signal. A reminder that something inside you still is eager to explore, create, learn, and become more than you are today.
Realizing this gave me hope. If boredom is the problem, then the solution may be closer than I thought. That’s what Struggle Bus Academy is really about—not avoiding struggle, but using it to become a better version of ourselves.
Questions to Ask Yourself
To help you decide whether burnout or boredom is affecting you, try asking yourself the following questions:
- Do I want everyone to just leave me alone?
- Does everything feel like work?
- Am I waking up tired?
- Do I spend leisure time recovering instead of exploring?
A “yes” to these questions typically indicates burnout.
The following questions may point to boredom:
- Do I feel stuck in the same movie on repeat?
- Do I crave learning, adventure, challenge, or creativity?
- Am I spending time imagining new projects, hobbies, or identities?
- Do I tell myself, “I need something to look forward to”?
And here is the best question of all — If someone gave you a completely free Saturday with no obligations and no guilt, would you want to spend it sleeping and recovering, or learning, creating, and exploring?
- If you answer “sleeping and recovering,” burnout is more likely.
- If you answer “doing interesting things,” boredom is more likely.
- If the answer is “both,” you have a combination of the two.
Conclusion
Burnout isn’t my primary problem. I still have too many interests to pursue, too many things to learn, and too many adventures ahead of me. If I were truly burned out, I don’t think those desires would pull at me so strongly.
I’ve realized that responsibility and routine, while necessary and good, can sometimes crowd out growth and curiosity. Somewhere along the way, I stopped making room for the things that made me feel challenged, engaged, and alive.
The solution isn’t to run away from my life. I love my family. I love my wife. I am grateful for the life we’ve built together.
The solution is to bring more life into my life.
Maybe that means learning a new skill. Perhaps it means reviving an old hobby, or finally finishing some of those projects I’ve been thinking about for years. Whatever form it takes, I suspect the answer isn’t more rest—it’s more purpose, more curiosity, and more growth.
If you’ve been telling yourself you’re burned out, it may be worth asking whether you’re actually bored.
That question changed everything for me.
And it might change something for you, too.
About the Author
Rob Rice is a nurse educator, writer, husband, father, and lifelong learner. After more than two decades in nursing and mental health, he started Struggle Bus Academy to document his journey toward better health, personal growth, new skills, and a more adventurous life. His goal is simple: to make his fifties his best decade yet.
New here? Start with my first post, Why I Started Struggle Bus Academy, where I explain the idea behind this blog.
Join the Struggle Bus Dispatch
Get new posts, midlife growth ideas, and honest updates from Struggle Bus Academy.