Why I Started Struggle Bus Academy
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Getting Older Became Real
At some point in my mid-forties, getting older stopped being theoretical.” I woke up in the morning tired and went to bed tired. My body would ache for no reason. I wondered what was going on with me.
Then it hit me. I was getting older. It was no longer an abstract concept. I had concrete, physical evidence that I was no longer a young man. It was difficult to accept.
Throughout my life, I had struggles with physical fitness and energy. I would have a few years of healthy eating and exercise, with a close-to-ideal number on the scale, and then a few years when I gained weight and had a hard time staying active. But even when I wasn’t doing the best with my diet and exercise, I still felt healthy and energetic overall. At 45, I didn’t feel that way anymore.
I started noticing other things too. I had a few episodes of acid reflux, a problem I had never had before. Arthritis was starting in my hands. Writing for long periods of time became difficult. Worst of all, I began to snore and had episodes of sleep apnea that would wake me several times a night. I had to give up sleeping on my back to breathe. My excess weight was beginning to have real health consequences.
Burnout and Restlessness
Accompanying the physical issues were psychological concerns. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I’d always considered myself to be an energetic and dynamic person with ambition and drive. Now I felt lazy and started projects that I soon quit after losing energy and focus. Nothing seemed quite right. It wasn’t depression. Overall, I was a happy person. After some reflection, I realized it was burnout.
Instead of being a revelation that immediately led to a turnaround, realizing I was burned out mostly made me feel guilty. On paper, I had a great life — a loving wife, amazing kids, supportive friends and family, and a career I genuinely enjoyed. I felt like I had no right to feel restless.
What Was Missing
But something was missing.
What I missed was adventure. Growth. Challenge. Somewhere along the way, in my effort to be a good husband and father, I stopped making time for the things that energized and made me feel alive. I settled into routines that were comfortable but no longer challenging. I stopped learning new things. I stopped pushing myself.
Even after realizing this, I did what many people do: nothing. I told myself this was just what middle age looked like. You slow down. You give things up for your family. Big dreams become smaller, more practical ones. Life was still good — especially after welcoming our beautiful baby girl into the family — but deep down, I knew something still wasn’t right.
I’m tired of being tired.
This week, as another three years have passed, I’ve decided that enough was enough. I am going to take control of my life again. I’m tired of being tired, out of shape, and restless. As I approach 50, I realize that even by the most optimistic measures, half of my life is gone. The thought of the beginning of a new decade as a turning point is driving me to action. I want my fifties to be the best decade of my life. I finally have most of my life in order. Personal growth, fitness, and trying new things will be the icing on the cake. Focusing on me (at least a little) will help me become an even better husband and father.
Why I Started This Blog
One of the first things I’m going to try is writing a blog. I’ve been a nurse for 22 years now. I teach psychiatric nursing at a hospital-based nursing school. Before that, I spent almost 15 years working directly with patients and staff on a busy mental health unit. It’s been a great career, and I love my job, but if someone asked me what I really wanted to be in life, I’d have to say “Writer.” I’m not walking away from nursing. I’m finally making room for writing, too.
This blog is called Struggle Bus Academy. I chose the name because the things I will try—getting in shape, learning new skills —will not be easy. I’m going to struggle. In some cases, the struggle will be severe. I decided on Academy because it will be a place for growth and learning — for me and, hopefully, for you too.
If you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or like you’ve stopped growing somewhere along the way, maybe it’s time to hop on the bus too.
About the Author
Rob Rice is a nurse educator, writer, husband, father, and lifelong learner. After more than two decades in nursing and mental health, he started Struggle Bus Academy to document his journey toward better health, personal growth, new skills, and a more adventurous life. His goal is simple: to make his fifties his best decade yet.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re actually burned out or simply stuck in a rut, check out my post Burnout vs. Boredom: The Midlife Mistake Many Men Make.
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